Friday, December 28, 2012

Electricity pouring through me

Yeah, I went ahead and dove right into my acrylic paints again... Seems I'm bent on giving myself a headache! Large areas of blended colors are nearly impossible to create with acrylics, unlike watercolors! I still couldn't get the sky to look quite right, but oh well. I am pleased with the basic composition of my newest painting, though the details are lacking in some places. I might go back and work on it more later, but for now I shall consider it FINISHED.
Crappy quality picture, it's too big too fit in the scanner. :( 11x14in.
WIP pics:

close up!

Other than painting, I'm in a weird mood lately. Introverted sometimes, other times I enjoy time with my family. I love the holidays, and I blame the nonstop pace of the semester for making it so hard for me to adjust!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Mojo (Warning: Boobs)

Guess I've got my mojo back for now! And who would've guessed it would be acrylics that did it?! I spent today painting this little guy:
I was excited when I realized it was the right size to be scanned! Which is fantastic because all I could get was glare or miscoloration when I tried to get a picture of it.
Here are the work in progress pics:

 I am indeed loving this new art setup my dad got me... even though I was a skeptic at first.
Now, as far as the painting I 'ruined', maybe I didn't ruin it but its certainly not what I intended to create. It is definitely different from what I normally create though so I'll share:
"And I've turned into this smiling, snarling monster, As I watch the walls descend, As I watch the walls descend like stars." Rocket Collecting, Milla Jovovich
Looks like I need some practice with watercolors!

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas loot

OHEMGEE I got a big fancy new paint set and I want to paint but I am RUSTY and I ruined one painting already today. :(((( WHY SO DIFFICULT. Need... inspiration. Need... skillz.
I also got awesome earrings made by my brothers girlfriend and some gift cards. Also, my parents are buying Doom and I a futon sometime! :)
Okay, I'm being called for dinner so Merry Christmas! (again)

Bye bye Maine, hello home

Twas a messy affair
The night before we left we had a feast of lobster! Doom was a little put-off by them, they were very rich and it was an unusual flavor/texture for my steak-n-potatoes boy, but I don't think he had too much of an unpleasant experience. I loooved it, though they were so rich that it made me a little sick that night. The next day we flew home, and after 10+ hours in the air, I was ready to be home. There was quite a bit of turbulence while we were in New England, and I was actually scared! Its been awhile since I've experienced that.
Now I'm home, I missed my doggies incredibly. And as soon as I get home I found out that both of them have some kind of weird skin rash/irritation on some of their paws which I'm pretty convinced is from my dad and brother taking them hiking. I have to clean them and put some ointment on and Fei has to wear a conehead. (sigh) I worked all day Sunday (it was a crappy day because we had to stay an extra hour -_-) and yesterday I went kinda nuts and started cleaning my room, basically GUTTING it. I threw SO much crap away. It felt good, but some stuff I can't do anything about because Doom and I won't get our second room until my brother and his girlfriend leave.
Being home feels good, though I do miss Maine.
Merry Christmas, Blogger!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Pistachios & Ponies

Sarai's kitty
Yesterday we went and visited my friend Sarai again in the afternoon! Doom stayed at their house and played games with her husband and then she was kind enough to take me for a trail ride on her pony, Nysa and she rode her pony Holi (which I hadn't met before until this trip). I am soooo sore, and we only walked! I am rusty! But its been years since I've been on a horse pony. I wasn't expecting it at all but I had a great time.
After that we delved into their seemingly endless collection of boardgames and played rounds of Tsuro, King of Tokyo (I actually won one round!), and Munchkins (again!).
OH, and I must mention pizza for dinner. I WAS SPOSED TO BE PIZZA'D OUT! But I lost a bet with Justin (I failed at directions, haha) and since pizza is convenient we got some. It was good though! The good thing about pizza here is that all the pizza places aren't chains! I get sick of Pizza Hut and Dominos (uggh).
Relaxing at Grandpa's house
After we got home we knocked out and this morning I went with my grandpa to pick up lobsters for dinner tonight (Justin couldn't believe they were alive when he saw them *amused*). Then around noon we all went and dropped my grandma off for her hair appointment, went grocery shopping, picked up whoopie pies, then went out for icecream at Shaker Pond Ice Cream. It is dericious, I had pistachio flavor and oooohhmyyygooodness it is addicting.
I am sad we're leaving tomorrow :(

Grandpa's awesome stained glass window

Doom relaxing


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Rain chased the snow away...

That's right, it rained all day yesterday and this morning, but thankfully it quit! It melted all the snow away which was a bummer, but I am SO glad I went on my solo trek while I did! Otherwise no pretty pictures for me!
We drove around town with my grandpa and he showed us Portland, but like I said it was drizzling the whole time so we stayed in the car. I was tired all that day so I went to bed pretty early.
Today, however, Doom and I decided to go into town and do some shopping. I had fun, and he even found a movie he loves for cheap! It's called Lord of War, and I even liked it. It is one of his favorite movies and he hadn't been able to find it for a looong time. And of course, we find it when we're not looking for it. We also enjoyed a lunch at a sandwich shop together. Doom is more fond of sandwiches than I am, but I still enjoy going out to eat with him.
So, for our haul, we got a hubble space themed calendar for "our" room (I wanted ponies or owls or something but he didn't so we settled on that!) and I found a cute maneki-neko porcelain necklace (I spend way too much money on jewelry-- I need to stop.) OH and how could I forget? We chanced upon a really neat dog supply store and I got some fun things. (The dogs are gonna looooove me when I come home!)
I absolutely adore Maine... <3
Squirrel-watching in the backyard

Drove by the old port, got to see the boat lights in the fog.

nom nom

Even the sidewalks here are pretty

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Silent Woods: A Solo Trek

Doom was being lame and didn't want to go for a hike in the fresh snow, so after morning things had been taken care of, I went by myself! It was beautiful... Quiet, white, inspiring. The air here is so clean! I wanna bottle it up and take it home. It feels good to be alone sometimes. The stream was absolutely lovely as it wound, dark, through the white forest.
After I hiked around for awhile and got tired (my boots are not made for hiking and made it twice as hard!) I headed home. Doom was hungry so we decided to drive into town. We intended on getting some Italian sandwiches but since I wanted something hot, we decided to get pizza instead. We've had pizza 3 times now since we've been here and I'm pretty sure I'm all pizza'd out. But it was delicious. We once again got lost several times, which was made worse by the fact that the roads were a sludgy, slick mess. But we somehow made it home safe. We then had a delicious dinner and I had a whoopie pie (yummmmmmmm). After playing Spore for awhile with Doom, I'm ready for bed!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Boppin' around town

The past few days of my vacation have been lovely. Yesterday, we visited my friend Sarai who visits this blog on occasion ("Hi!"). It was fun and Doom bought a game and we bought books and shirts that were on sale. (Buy 1 get 3 free, whaaa?) Then today Justin and I bopped around town, first we went to the mall, I got a sweater I liked, then we went to Planet Dog and I got some things for my pups, and then we drove into downtown and visited art stores and ended up buying a painting! It was fun. In the morning when we set out it started snowing and continued through the day, so buy the time we returned there was a decent dusting! We went into the woods but couldn't stay long as it was getting cold.
Here are more pics:

Friday, December 14, 2012

Baby, it's Maine outside!

So finals are over, they were the most intense finals I've ever studied for. If it hadn't been for work (taking up almost ALL of my Saturday and Sunday prior) I feel like I would have fared better. However, I did end up with a B in genetics (I wasn't upset cause I thought it was gonna be a C!) an A- in Cell Physiology (I was miffed about the -, this class was tough and I studied my arse off) and I don't know about my other classes yet.
But, let me instead tell you about more interesting things: Doom and I arrived in glorious New England, and it is beautiful. No snow, but I am still in love!
So far we went and explored the woods, and went and saw The Hobbit (as a lover of the book... I was dissapointed. I loved some things, hated others.)
Enjoy the pics so far:

Monday, December 10, 2012

Green Tea

3 days, 3 finals. Green tea, green tea will get me through this. I just need to breathe, and fill my brain with biochemistry, cell physiology and genetics. No biggie.
I also have to pack for my vacation, clean the house, go shopping and mail xmas presents. In 3 days. Green tea, help me...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Freedom so close I can taste it...

One more week before I finish my last final and then LEAVE! My parents decided last-minute that they wanted to go, so they're flying out to visit my grandparents right now. They SHOULD be back the day before Doom and I leave. I'm glad to have the house to myself!
Genetics will be the death of me... The race is on in cell phys to not let the final murder me (I heard his final is particularly difficult) even though I'm doing the best in that class than my others... Biochem will surely have me sweating bullets til the end because I'm right on the borderline.
I'll just have to somehow make it through this next week, and then I'll be on vacation...

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Heart of Gold

Working at a veterinary hospital in the kennels, I must say I receive little information on what is happening with patients. And even rarer still do I get to see a case from start to finish, but today I (mostly) did. A golden retriever came in, she wasn't old and nothing was obviously wrong with her except she couldn't really stand, like she was too tired to even get up. She ended up dying while they were in the process of diagnosing her (x-rays, bloodwork, etc.) After that, the owners elected to do a necropsy, which I heard that the doctor on duty didn't like to perform, not because it was uncomfortable or anything, but simply because she felt as if she rarely found answers when she performed them. And so it was. After opening her up and examining her, nothing was found. I was extremely curious so this was a letdown, but this is the first time I had seen the inside of a dog so I was rather intrigued about the necropsy process.

Monday, November 19, 2012

November blah: Doggies and Doodles

It has been awhile since I've updated on the various little things in my life, so let me bring you all up to speed: Ti is all healed up and is as spry as ever. I love my baby.
His scar; it shall impress all the ladeez.
Being a goof-- now that its winter and he's nekkid, he sure appreciates blankets!
No painting for me, unfortunately, but I did allow myself one doodle in class!
Umm... I'm not much for excitement otherwise. I did buy The Hobbit on audio to listen to in my car, I'm excited! I did read it years ago... but I don't remember much and of course the movie is coming out soon (squee!).
Other than that, I'm in a bit of a slump as far as moods go... Everything's looking a little blue from where I'm at. I'm hoping things get better soon.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

A fading heartbeat

Just wanted to share a new veterinary experience...
Random puppy; not the patient.
Today for the first time I got asked to hold a dog for a euthanasia, and I'm so glad it was the tech who did it, she admitted she might get emotional which made me feel better.  At first I hesitated, but I ended up thanking her afterwards, I hadn't experienced this yet and I feel like I needed it. She seemed to have a lot of compassion for this little dog who was had liver failure and pancreatitis. It was a little terrier thing, and as I held its warm little body I could feel its heart beat. The pink liquid entered its system, and soon its heart beat faded into a stillness. I didn't cry, it is a somewhat numb feeling when you don't know the animal. I just have to trust that it was for the best, its suffering had ended.
It was a good reminder of how real veterinary medicine is. As a biology student, these situations are theoretical... but to step off of campus and to see it in person is something entirely different. 

Friday, November 9, 2012

Right brain vs. Left brain

For me, its hard to stay focused just on schoolwork during the semester. Other things crop up, work gets in the way, family, and my friends always seem to want to do things when I'm feeling underwater on studying and homework. But there comes a point when I just feel tired! And at that point, I just daydream about all the things I wish I had time for. Movies, books, shows, art(that unfinished painting just drives a stake through my heart every time I look at it and realize that with finals approaching, it won't get finished for a looong time). I wish I had time just to go places. My eyes have grown tired of the same commute every day. I want to immerse myself in something that won't be graded at the end.
I can't keep my mind off of paintings that I want to do, and heck I've even been planning on gutting and re-organizing my room, floor to ceiling. But I don't have the time. I have an exam every week except for the week before finals. I'm hoping hard work pays off.
Next semester should be less stressful. Since I chose to postpone my application for another year, I'm able to take a more agreeable load (I hope!). Looks like I'm taking an animal physiology class (squee!), biochemistry 2, a couple of general classes and online animal nutrition. I almost took a biochem lab on top of that, but I really don't think I can take another semester of this... its awful. I'm considering dropping the pre-professional club I'm in... its too much bullshit and I don't really enjoy it. 
I'm not sure what the point of this post was other than to say I'm feeling restless and trapped. I think I've exercised my left brain too much, my right brain is starting to get jumpy. 
Ah well, I'll be on vacation in about a month! I'm so ready for, trees, snow, the Atlantic ocean... Until then, daydream on.
My grandparents house... Doom and I will be there in December to visit right after this semester ends. <3
Trees, plz! Took this a few years ago the last time I was there. Hopefully it will be snowy when I'm there though. DESERT Y U SO BORING!

Monday, November 5, 2012

The best laid plans of mice and men... (Looking into the future of vet med)

In recent months, I've explored other aspects of the veterinary profession besides what they do, and I can say that what I've found is depressing. It already seems nearly impossible to get in to vet school, and on top of that you throw in the fact that after you graduate, you may not have a job?! More vet schools are starting up, which sounds good for a prospective veterinary student, but when I read what others (fellow bloggers, veterinary news articles, etc.) I realize that new vet schools are just adding to the problem of too many vets, not enough work, not enough money. I'm terrified for me and for Doom... He trusts me enough to say he'll follow me wherever I go, with whatever I'll do, but that just places more responsibility on my shoulders. I don't want to drag him down. I've read that an appropriate amount of school debt should be as much as your starting salary after graduation, but with vet students graduating on average with ~140,000+ in debt, with starting salaries of ~60,000, I must say I'm scared! And I don't think I'm overreacting either.
I'm reaching the point of my life where there is no one that can say, "Just do this and this and that, and you'll be fine." I have to make decisions on my own, do my own research, pick the path of my own future.
Right now, I've got a plan, but you know what they say, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."
This semester, I've made the decision to apply the summer of my senior year instead of this upcoming summer (of junior year) which means I'll be adding another 2 semesters of classes while I apply. I'm hoping this will give me more time to take some good, upper-division bio classes, as well as raise my GPA and hopefully get into some research! But it was a scary decision to make. I'm a pretty indecisive person to begin with, but now that I feel like each decision will haunt me for the rest of my adult life... I can barely think straight.
My friends are encouraging and supportive of course, but somehow, when it comes to your own future, "Follow your dreams" doesn't sound like a good enough answer. But since I don't have a crystal ball, to some extent I do just have to close my eyes and leap...

Some insightful links...
And related blogs that I follow...
And I found this since I'm interested in large animals...

Friday, November 2, 2012


My boy came home tonight! I'm so happy. His back still looks crusty but its not oozing really anymore so he's allowed to be at home, as long as I restrict his activity. I brought home a big crate for him and he actually doesn't mind it! He'll have to stay there when I can't directly supervise him until his stitches are removed.
Now, I'm tired, and I have a million things to do for school... but I'm relieved just to have my baby back.
Snuggled right in... I thought he would hate it but I guess not!

Even though they have to be separated until Ti is given the "all clear!", I think Feivel's a bit happier now too. <3

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Saddest Halloween ever

Things after surgery didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped. I got a call a few days later from Doom saying that Ti was bleeding badly from his sutures. A panicked call later to the doctor and I had Doom drop him off at the hospital. Later that day I found out he had to stay at the hospital for an indefinite amount of time because some tissue was potentially necrotic... and he needed hydrotherapy. I cried when I visited him that night, it just was so sad for him to have to stay there... he hates it there, he whines and cries and there's a terribly empty hole in my house when he's not there. Even Feivel seems down. They have him on stronger antibiotics... I checked him the next day, and today, and his incision site looks better, less swollen, less fluid leakage. I'm glad there's improvement, cause I was scared... I've never been so depressed before. Ever. And I don't think I've ever cried so much either. I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to leave the house, I skipped a day of classes. I don't care if I seem silly, crying over a hospital stay, but I'd rather be under the knife 1000 times before putting my dogs under.
Come home soon <3
So for now, I know he's safe being confined to a kennel because at the house he would run around and roll over and shake too much, threatening to rip his sutures. I can't wait for him to come home... It's been rough. I don't know who's more upset, me or him. I feel like when I visit him I make him even more sad, so I just quickly checked his stitches and left today before he got too upset.
Now I'm going to a Halloween shindig thing that I don't particularly want to go too... But I thought I'd update on him, as much as I want to disappear from the world.

Friday, October 26, 2012


That's right, my baby boy had surgery on his back to remove a cyst. He's had the cyst for awhile, but all of a sudden it got irritated, presumably because it kind of ruptured underneath the skin. I was told he was a whiny baby at the hospital, crying about everything. I already knew he'd be like that, but I love him anyways. I took him in early, took his weight and temperature and held him while they drew blood, and then I left! I picked him up in the evening and listened to him whine the whole way home. Poor baby. I was feeling down the whole day while he was at the hospital, my house just doesn't feel right without him there. Feivel of course was right there with me but still... not the same.

I'm glad the cyst is gone now, though, and hopefully he'll heal up soon and stop being such a whiny baby.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Halfway through Fall 2012?!?!

I can't believe this semester is just about halfway over already! Time flies, which mean the stress of finals is steadily approaching. I'm hanging in there as far as my classes go, but I really need to remain focused or it can just as easily slip out of my fingers.
Shadowing has been going good, I'm slowly learning more about small-animal-hospital life. I've seen a couple surgeries now, but mostly just routine stuff comes in when I'm there.
I've been thinking more and more about my plans for the future, which includes doing some more research on schools (I envy those pre-med students with the hundreds of school choices...), realizing what I need to do academically to prepare, and scheduling an appointment with my pre-professional adviser to finally hammer out what I really want to do next year (do I want to apply? do I want to wait?)  As far as schools are concerned, I've felt some pressure to look for schools with lower tuition rates, because although I'm naive and don't know much about debt and such, I want to try and be as responsible as possible for me and my boyfriend. Unluckily for me, unless I get accepted into the WICHE program (which will pay for the difference for the out-of-state and in-state tuitions at some of the universities here in the western US) all the schools seem to be really expensive.
Besides all that, I've got a watercolor painting that's been sitting in my room for a couple of weeks, but I don't think I'll have time to complete it for quite a while! Ah, college life. I'm already regretting the time used to write this post, so I'm gonna go study now.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Are all hospitals this crazy?!

Work... what can I say? Things have been ridiculous at the hospital and it is a combination of overworked techs, a new doctor with confidence issues, and general hostility and drama with everyone else. I'm sooo tired of being angry... this is the place I work and shadow at, why is it so unprofessional?! I'll feel better after a few days, but for now, I'm stressed and tired and ready to just go off. There was an emergency today, which isn't a big deal except we all got yelled at for not knowing where things are... like where vials of drugs are and where needles are and where oxygen masks are... Kennel staff aren't trained to know where this stuff is. I got to see this doctor (just graduated) panic because she couldn't handle the situation. When the other doctor came in later though, things got fixed and everything was fine (for the dog). Then on top of this I've got a coworker trying to say that since he's got the most experience, that he's in charge of us. Umm... I've been working here 3 months and I've never heard this.
So, yeah... starting to wonder... are all animal hospitals like this?! 

Friday, September 28, 2012

First time shadowing

Last weekend I worked up the courage to ask the head doctor at the hospital I work at if I could come in and shadow during the week, and he said yes! I didn't expect him to say no, really, but still it was a frightening thing to ask. So I came in Thursday morning. When I got there, there was only one tech and the Doctor, who I shall call Dr. Stork. I haven't worked closely with this tech or Dr. Stork before but I quickly learned it wasn't all that bad. Everyone was willing to explain things to me, even if I felt incompetent cause I had a hard time getting their heart and respiration rates by the end of the day! (Multitasking is something I've never been good at.)
Dr. Stork gave me the 'lecture' when I first got there, explaining how difficult it is to get into the veterinary profession (he said you needed a 3.5 to even really have a shot... I'm working on it, I swear! I'm currently at a 3.37) and he told me his journey to vet school, working ridiculous hours for no pay, etc. It wasn't anything I hadn't heard before, but it was interesting to hear his personal story.
Of course it got me thinking about my own ability to do this... Part of me feels like I'm in too deep to turn back now... but I know I don't really want to turn back. I realize I've chosen a difficult path, a path that doesn't necessarily end in wealth and health,  but I'm holding out that it will at least end in happiness, a sense of fulfillment and the chance to work with science and animals for the rest of my life. But with this stepping stone, I feel more prepared than ever to carve my way into the veterinary profession. Although, I am regretful that it will be difficult to get experience working with large animals... The more I see the small animal side of the profession, the more I want to experience the large animal side. I can see myself doing large animal work more than small animal work at this point, but of course it's impossible to say without trying everything out first. But for now, I'll take what I can get.
So by the end of that morning I had about how they anesthetize an animal for surgery (pre-medication, induction agents, gas for maintenance), I got to see the ear drum of a dog, and about the whole respiration/heart rates. It was a slow morning and only a couple of dentals were there but I thought it was a good first day.
I'll be coming back every Thursday so I'm looking forward to this being a very informative adventure!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

3 exams in 2 days and other silly tales

That's right, I just took 3 science exams in 2 days. Cell phys, biochem, and genetics. So far I know I did well on my genetics exam, but it will be awhile before I get the other grades. Its a relief for it to be over, but I'm already on to new adventures! Tomorrow I shadow a doctor at work. I'll update on that next time.
But now Doom and I have something to look forward to: a 10 day vacation on the east coast visiting my grandparents in December. I'm ecstatic! We just bought the tickets today.
Also, I bought us the second collection of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood since netflix doesn't have those episodes available and we got hooked on this series. 
Since I have little else to share, here are some doodles: