November blah: Doggies and Doodles

It has been awhile since I've updated on the various little things in my life, so let me bring you all up to speed: Ti is all healed up and is as spry as ever. I love my baby.

His scar; it shall impress all the ladeez.

Being a goof-- now that its winter and he's nekkid, he sure appreciates blankets!

No painting for me, unfortunately, but I did allow myself one doodle in class!

Umm... I'm not much for excitement otherwise. I did buy The Hobbit on audio to listen to in my car, I'm excited! I did read it years ago... but I don't remember much and of course the movie is coming out soon (squee!).
Other than that, I'm in a bit of a slump as far as moods go... Everything's looking a little blue from where I'm at. I'm hoping things get better soon.

A fading heartbeat

Just wanted to share a new veterinary experience...

Random puppy; not the patient.

Today for the first time I got asked to hold a dog for a euthanasia, and I'm so glad it was the tech who did it, she admitted she might get emotional which made me feel better.  At first I hesitated, but I ended up thanking her afterwards, I hadn't experienced this yet and I feel like I needed it. She seemed to have a lot of compassion for this little dog who was had liver failure and pancreatitis. It was a little terrier thing, and as I held its warm little body I could feel its heart beat. The pink liquid entered its system, and soon its heart beat faded into a stillness. I didn't cry, it is a somewhat numb feeling when you don't know the animal. I just have to trust that it was for the best, its suffering had ended.
It was a good reminder of how real veterinary medicine is. As a biology student, these situations are theoretical... but to step off of campus and to see it in person is something entirely different. 

Right brain vs. Left brain

For me, its hard to stay focused just on schoolwork during the semester. Other things crop up, work gets in the way, family, and my friends always seem to want to do things when I'm feeling underwater on studying and homework. But there comes a point when I just feel tired! And at that point, I just daydream about all the things I wish I had time for. Movies, books, shows, art(that unfinished painting just drives a stake through my heart every time I look at it and realize that with finals approaching, it won't get finished for a looong time). I wish I had time just to go places. My eyes have grown tired of the same commute every day. I want to immerse myself in something that won't be graded at the end.
I can't keep my mind off of paintings that I want to do, and heck I've even been planning on gutting and re-organizing my room, floor to ceiling. But I don't have the time. I have an exam every week except for the week before finals. I'm hoping hard work pays off.
Next semester should be less stressful. Since I chose to postpone my application for another year, I'm able to take a more agreeable load (I hope!). Looks like I'm taking an animal physiology class (squee!), biochemistry 2, a couple of general classes and online animal nutrition. I almost took a biochem lab on top of that, but I really don't think I can take another semester of this... its awful. I'm considering dropping the pre-professional club I'm in... its too much bullshit and I don't really enjoy it. 
I'm not sure what the point of this post was other than to say I'm feeling restless and trapped. I think I've exercised my left brain too much, my right brain is starting to get jumpy. 
Ah well, I'll be on vacation in about a month! I'm so ready for, trees, snow, the Atlantic ocean... Until then, daydream on.

My grandparents house... Doom and I will be there in December to visit right after this semester ends. <3

Trees, plz! Took this a few years ago the last time I was there. Hopefully it will be snowy when I'm there though. DESERT Y U SO BORING!

The best laid plans of mice and men... (Looking into the future of vet med)

In recent months, I've explored other aspects of the veterinary profession besides what they do, and I can say that what I've found is depressing. It already seems nearly impossible to get in to vet school, and on top of that you throw in the fact that after you graduate, you may not have a job?! More vet schools are starting up, which sounds good for a prospective veterinary student, but when I read what others (fellow bloggers, veterinary news articles, etc.) I realize that new vet schools are just adding to the problem of too many vets, not enough work, not enough money. I'm terrified for me and for Doom... He trusts me enough to say he'll follow me wherever I go, with whatever I'll do, but that just places more responsibility on my shoulders. I don't want to drag him down. I've read that an appropriate amount of school debt should be as much as your starting salary after graduation, but with vet students graduating on average with ~140,000+ in debt, with starting salaries of ~60,000, I must say I'm scared! And I don't think I'm overreacting either.
I'm reaching the point of my life where there is no one that can say, "Just do this and this and that, and you'll be fine." I have to make decisions on my own, do my own research, pick the path of my own future.
Right now, I've got a plan, but you know what they say, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."
This semester, I've made the decision to apply the summer of my senior year instead of this upcoming summer (of junior year) which means I'll be adding another 2 semesters of classes while I apply. I'm hoping this will give me more time to take some good, upper-division bio classes, as well as raise my GPA and hopefully get into some research! But it was a scary decision to make. I'm a pretty indecisive person to begin with, but now that I feel like each decision will haunt me for the rest of my adult life... I can barely think straight.
My friends are encouraging and supportive of course, but somehow, when it comes to your own future, "Follow your dreams" doesn't sound like a good enough answer. But since I don't have a crystal ball, to some extent I do just have to close my eyes and leap...

Some insightful links...

• Veterinary student debt continues to climb

• More vets in Alaska?

• An economists opinion on the veterinary profession

And related blogs that I follow...

• From Dr. Bern's blog...
• Dr. M's blog...

And I found this since I'm interested in large animals...

• No luck for large animal vets too?

Reunited!

My boy came home tonight! I'm so happy. His back still looks crusty but its not oozing really anymore so he's allowed to be at home, as long as I restrict his activity. I brought home a big crate for him and he actually doesn't mind it! He'll have to stay there when I can't directly supervise him until his stitches are removed.
Now, I'm tired, and I have a million things to do for school... but I'm relieved just to have my baby back.

Snuggled right in... I thought he would hate it but I guess not!

Even though they have to be separated until Ti is given the "all clear!", I think Feivel's a bit happier now too. <3